"God" Defends Himself in Court Filing

LINCOLN, Neb. (AP) - A legislator who filed a lawsuit against God has gotten something he might not have expected: a response.

One of two court filings from "God" came Wednesday under otherworldly circumstances, according to John Friend, clerk of the Douglas County District Court in Omaha.

"This one miraculously appeared on the counter. It just all of a sudden was here - poof!" Friend said.

State Sen. Ernie Chambers of Omaha sued God last week, seeking a permanent injunction against the Almighty for making terroristic threats, inspiring fear and causing "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants."

Chambers, a self-proclaimed agnostic who often criticizes Christians, said his filing was triggered by a federal lawsuit he considers frivolous. He said he's trying to makes the point that anybody can sue anybody.

Not so, says "God." His response argues that the defendant is immune from some earthly laws and the court lacks jurisdiction.

It adds that blaming God for human oppression and suffering misses an important point.

"I created man and woman with free will and next to the promise of immortal life, free will is my greatest gift to you," according to the response, as read by Friend.

There was no contact information on the filing, although St. Michael the Archangel is listed as a witness, Friend said.

A second response from "God" disputing Chambers' allegations lists a phone number for a Corpus Christi law office. A message left for that office was not immediately returned Thursday.

Attempts to reach Chambers by phone and at his Capitol office Thursday were unsuccessful.

UPDATE: 9/23/07 2:33P.M.

LINCOLN, Neb. (AP) - The mystery of one response to a lawsuit against God has been solved. Eric Perkins, an attorney in Corpus Christi, Texas, said Friday he filed a response to the lawsuit from Nebraska State Sen. Ernie Chambers. "It's kind of a turn on 'What would Jesus do?'" Perkins said. "I thought to myself, "what would God say?"

"Defendant denies that this or any court has jurisdiction ... over Him any more than the court has jurisdiction over the wind or rain, sunlight or darkness," according to Perkins' response.
As for Chambers' contention that God made terroristic threats, inspired fear and caused "widespread death, destruction and terrorization," Perkins wrote that God "contends that any harm or injury suffered is a direct and proximate result of mankind ignoring obvious warnings."

Perkins, who said he is a Christian, faxed one of at least two responses to Chambers' lawsuit. He said while he hopes the lawsuit was just a stunt by Chambers, "maybe his timing has something to do with world affairs. I'd hate to be that person who sat back and did nothing."

The problem of serving God a summons could land the lawsuit in the earthly scrap heap of failed legal actions.

But whether the issue goes before a judge may largely depend on how hard Chambers pushes the issue. The senator isn't asking that notice be served to God, but says in his lawsuit that if he doesn't get a summary judgment in the case, he wants a hearing - "if the court deems such a hearing not to be a futile act."

Chambers, a self-proclaimed agnostic, said he's trying to makes the point that anybody can sue anybody. He said his filing was triggered by a federal lawsuit he considers frivolous.
It's still not clear where a second response from "God" came from. There was no contact information on the filing, which turned up on the counter at the Douglas County Court office, although St. Michael the Archangel is listed as a witness.

Attempts to reach Chambers by phone Friday were unsuccessful.

Weather Anchor is the Real Boob

Sep 20, 7:01 PM (ET)

BOWLING GREEN, Ky. (AP) - A television station apologized to viewers after an Internet video showed a longtime weather anchor clowning around in front of a computer graphic of a woman's breast.

WBKO-TV said on its Web site that it has reprimanded weather anchor Chris Allen for "acting in a juvenile and unprofessional manner." Rick McCue, station vice president and general manager, said Allen remains an employee.

The tape was from years earlier, never aired on television and was stolen by a former employee, who posted it on the Internet, according to the station, which did not name the former employee.

The video appeared on blogs and other Web sites, showing Allen to the left of a giant computer graphic of a woman's body in profile, under the text "Breast Milk Donors." A grinning Allen appears to lick the nipple and squeeze the breast while making honking noises, whistling and laughing.

WBKO's statement included an apology from Allen:

"This video - which was never intended to be seen outside of the station - was part of a joke that was played on me during a lighter moment off the air several years ago. I regret that a former employee has decided it is something that everyone should see and took the liberty of posting it on the Internet," Allen said.

"I am embarrassed by the whole ordeal and humbly apologize for anyone offended by my actions."

A message left for Allen at WBKO-TV by The Associated Press on Thursday was not immediately returned. Allen was away attending a training session in Wisconsin, McCue said.

The station considers the tape copyrighted material and is trying to have the video removed from various sites, McCue said.

One Less Stupid Cop

Sep 20, 4:57 PM (ET)

MUNCIE, Ind. (AP) - Prosecutors have filed two misdemeanor charges against a former police officer who authorities say crashed a squad car while showing off for three female college students riding with him.

Jason Lyons, 38, was charged in Muncie City Court with reckless driving and interference with reporting a crime. A preliminary arraignment was pending.

Lyons, a six-year veteran of the police force, resigned this month after being suspended over the Aug. 28 crash along a street outside a Ball State University residence hall complex.

"These are clear-cut cases," Delaware County Prosecutor Mark McKinney said Wednesday. Lyons could not be located for comment because no telephone number was listed in his name.

The three female freshmen told investigators they met Lyons, who called himself "Rico," about 1 a.m. at a near-campus convenience store, police said.

"We all asked if he could give us a ride back to the dorms, and 'Rico' said, 'Sure, I'll take you,'" one of the students, Stacy Walters, said in a police statement.

Walters said she and the other girls then screamed in terror as Lyons drove fast down a couple streets before hitting a curb and crashing.

"I was surprised at how fast 'Rico' got out of the car and opened the back door," Walters said. "He's telling us to get out and run."

The crash did several thousand dollars in damage to the squad car, and one of the students suffered a head cut, police said.

Lyons afterward said he was "scared and afraid" and not thinking clearly when he failed to tell supervisors all the details of the accident, according to police reports. A report quotes Lyons as telling a supervisor that "I was stupid and trying to impress three pretty girls who were paying attention to me."

Why Do You Think They Call it Dope?

Sep 19, 4:45 PM (ET)

SEATTLE (AP) - Federal agents thought there was something fishy about Leroy Carr. On four occasions since last December, Carr either crossed the Canadian border or was found near it with thousands of dollars in cash, according to a complaint filed in U.S. District Court. He also sometimes carried night vision goggles and a GPS device programmed with coordinates for a well-known drug-smuggling trail.

But Carr refused to speak with Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents, and they let him go - until he called to ask if they had seen his cocaine. According to the complaint, he told agents that on Aug. 3, he had stashed two blue backpacks containing 68 pounds of cocaine by the entrance to a Boy Scout camp near the Canadian border. When he returned the next day, they were gone, he said.

Carr, of suburban Federal Way, asked if ICE could put out a news release saying that federal agents had seized the drugs. That way, according to the complaint, the organization he was working for would believe his statements that he hadn't stolen them.

Two weeks later, a Boy Scout ranger found the backpacks, which were dry and in good shape, and called police.

Carr was arrested last weekend on a federal charge of cocaine possession with intent to distribute. He made his initial appearance in U.S. District Court in Seattle on Monday and is scheduled for a detention hearing Thursday.

Carr's attorney, Nancy Tenney, was out of the office Wednesday morning and did not immediately return a phone call seeking comment.

SOUTH CHARLESTON, W.Va. (AP) - A man who thought he was asking a friend about a drug deal instead sent a text message to the state police and was arrested, authorities said.

Joshua Wayne Cadle, 19, allegedly sent the message Wednesday to a phone number that used to belong to an unidentified friend. The number is now held by the State Police, Trooper B.H. Moore said Thursday.

"He text messaged that and asked his friend if he wanted to buy some reefer," Moore said.

Another trooper who received the message responded and set up a meeting. Moore arrested Cadle on Wednesday night in the parking lot of a shopping center in South Charleston.

Cadle, of Cross Lanes, was charged with delivery of a controlled substance and possession with intent to deliver. He was being held Thursday in the South Central Regional Jail.

A person who answered the phone at the jail did not know whether Cadle had hired an attorney.

Law Enforcement: This Week's Corrupt Cops Stories

http://stopthedrugwar.org/chronicle/502/police_drug_corruption

Not just your usual weekly batch of law enforcement miscreants, although we do have the mandatory crooked jail guard or two. Let's get to it in chronological order this week:

In Galveston, Texas, a Port of Galveston police officer was arrested September 12 for financing the drug habits of prostitutes and driving them to crack houses to score. Officer James Roland Chapman, 53, now faces three prostitution counts. He faces up to two years in jail and the loss of his peace officer's license if convicted.

In Gunnison, Utah, a Sanpete County sheriff's deputy was arrested September 12 for stealing drugs from the evidence room for his own use. Deputy John Earl Stevens, 28, has allegedly admitted to using cocaine and methamphetamine. The admissions came after a search of his home found a meth pipe, burned tinfoil used in smoking it, and several "empty sealed evidence bags." Stevens is a drug dog handler and was assigned to a central Utah drug task force. He also allegedly admitted stealing drug samples used to train drug dogs. He is now charged with suspicion of drug possession and evidence tampering. He is on administrative leave and out on $1,500 bail.

In Slidell, Louisiana, a former Slidell police officer turned himself in on drug charges September 13 after evading authorities for a day. Former officer Alan Roy, 42, is charged with possession with intent to distribute Schedule III narcotics, possession of Schedule II narcotics, and possession of drug paraphernalia. Authorities said a mid-August work incident aroused suspicions about Roy, leading to an August 20 search of his house that turned up 10 ampules and 170 tablets of anabolic steroids, more than half a gram of methamphetamine, and more than 100 hypodermic syringes. Roy resigned from the force four days later. He had agreed to turn himself in on September 12, but failed to show up until the following day. He faces up to five years in prison.

In Worthington, Kentucky, a Worthington police officer was arrested September 13 on drug trafficking charges. Sgt. Thomas Bradley was arrested by agents of the Fivco Area Drug Enforcement Task Force and was charged with trafficking in a controlled substance. He was last reported being held at the Greenup County Detention Center on $15,000 bail. In Eddyville, Kentucky, a state prison guard was arrested September 14 for smuggling drugs to inmates. Kentucky State Penitentiary guard Timothy Short, 29, went down after co-workers said they saw him give marijuana to a prisoner. He was arrested by state troopers and is charged with bribery of a public servant, which is punishable by up to five years in prison, and promoting contraband.

In Schenectady, New York, a former Schenectady police officer was sent to prison for stealing and selling drugs from the department evidence room. At his September 15 sentencing, former officer Jeffrey Curtis got four years for drug possession, one-to-three for tampering with evidence, and one year probation. Curtis pleaded guilty and admitted stealing and selling drugs, but said he had been stressed out and should have been the target of an intervention, not an investigation.

In Toledo, Ohio, a guard was arrested September 16 for sneaking drugs into the Lucas County jail. Lucas County corrections officer Edward Drane, 43, went down after jail officials used an inmate to set him up. No word yet on charges or what drugs were involved.