I saw a sign on a farm gate that read:

COWS CLOSE GATE 

I didn't know that cows could read.

Our English language must be very hard to learn, despite the fact that it's spoken in one form or another by about a third of the world's people. The rules seem flexible at best. If 2 mouses are mice, then why aren't 2 blouses blice? Or or 2 houses hice?

If it's one ox and 2 oxen, why shouldn't it be one fox and 2 foxen? "Henry, grab the shotgun, there's foxen in the henhice!"

If it's ring, rang, rung, why not bring, brang, brung? Or fling, flang, flung?

If I described something I saw, would I be making an optical allusion?
My first wife liked to shop so much I referred to her as "The Grand Aquisitor." 

I actually witnessed this linguistic transaction a couple weeks ago. A customer in a bar ordered "A hamburger loaded, with mayo." When the food came he told her it wasn't what he wanted. "You told me loaded with mayo and that's what I gave you. Not enough mayo?," she asked. 

"I wanted it with everything, you know 'loaded' AND mayo," he explained. I cracked up. I knew it was an honest mistake. She didn't hear the comma.

There are a lot of unusual signs out there. There's one on the east side of I65 in Indiana that says:
USED COWS FOR SALE ... hmmmm.

There is a billboard near Louisville, (they pronounce it "Louavl" or "Looval") that reads:
TATTOO CHARLIE'S
TATTOOS WHILE YOU WAIT
Like what, you're going to leave your arm and pick it up Thursday?

More on local pronunciation:
Baltimore is sometimes BALL-mer
Cadiz is ka-dees in Spain, but sounds like katie's in Kentucky
Cairo is kye-row in Egypt, but kayro in Illinois
Chicagoans say shuh-CAW-go
Hobart, IN is pronounced Hobert
Hoopston, IL, the oo sounds as in look
Illinois - it's Ill-ih-NOY
Folks in Leopold, IN say "Lear Pool" Thanks to APBurner
Salty is called saline (say-line) but the town in Texas built on a salt dome in called Suh-leen
SanFrancisco is never "Frisco"
Many Tennesseeans say TENN-uh-see. Almost everywhere else it's tenn-uh-SEE
It's Santa Fe (pronounced Santa Fay), New Mexico, but pronounced Santa Fee in Tennessee. 
Versailles in France is pronounced Ver-SIGH, the towns in Illinois and Kentucky say Ver-SAILS Thanks to APBurner

It's a chocolate sundae pronounced sunday in most of America, but it sounds like sunduh in St.Louis. 

English is a very flexible language. It's easy to create concise descriptions. You know that moment when you need to sneeze and just can't? I'd call it EJECTILE DISFUNCTION.

I'll add more as I think of them, but you can help by sending in unusual signs or funny examples of English. Send them to Dorothy@ImUnusual.com
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